The experience, the knowledge and the understanding gained from traveling to new places, (although easily talked about) is hard to really describe to those who have not lived it. So much information is constantly being packed into your mind, expanding your awareness. Personally, I felt I learned more life lessons and felt more personal growth in my first year traveling, and living in new countries, than i had in most of my young-adult life.
Of course this kind of experience might not be the same for everyone who has traveled. But if you can relate to my description, you may have gone (or be going through)..
“The After-Travel Blues”
After my first 2 years traveling from country to country. Working with the circus.. Spinning fire in amputheatres in front of large audiences.. Living out of a backpack.. Watching sunsets on beaches amongst the chatter of a language I did not speak.. Playing team-building games in a circus tent with strangers.. Climbing cliffside to discover hidden caves.. Oh the excitement! Oh the Adrenaline!! Oh!!.. oh… it’s over..
Well, not exactly, but a time to return home and regroup was needed, and a replenishing to my bank account even more so. I returned to BC to work for 2 months as a waitress with a goal to return to my exciting adventures as soon as possible. Below I have shared a personal journal entry near the end of the 2 month period. Maybe some of you travellers will be able to relate.
“Normally I have this overwhelming desire to learn. And I feel as though this has subsided during my stay here. The atmosphere, and the overall intentions within the majority have given me no inspiration to evolve.
Conformity is comfortable.
I feel no drive to become better than what I am. No dreams awaken in me. And I feel no power brewing inside making me feel – I can be more.
I’m exhausted from the repetition of satisfying
I feel as though a light has been switched off in my mind. The light that helped me see the ordinary as extraordinary. That made me feel as though life and everything around me is amazing.
I’m exhausted from mundane days
The passion that once screamed at me to “grow!” has become unconscious. And now it’s only coffee beans that scream “Keep Working!”
I feel a slave to a constant game we have created. Taking orders, making small talk, catering to each and every wish. It renders the nostalgic memories of playing House with my kindergarten friends. It is a bittersweet I must admit. How irrelevant I feel this all to be. Yet, in this moment, the importance is plays is undoubtedly and unfortunately relevant.”
As I read back on this, I sense the dramatic tone, however in the moment it really was a mirror to honest feelings. Feelings that I had discovered all the excitement and joy of what (i believe) life should be. And then the heartache of feeling now lost in a redundant normality. Feelings of regret for letting this treasure slip out of my hands. Feelings of those after-travel blues.
Eventually my feelings of regret turned into feelings of gratitude. And my melancholy feelings of having lost something turned into the idea that I was only on a side route towards something that I had found. And what I realized is that the excitement I had felt is something that’s inside me, and it’s something I can apply to everyday life.
I now try to find joy in the ordinary. But most importantly I try to keep change my constant companion. I like to switch which hand I use to put peanut butter on my toast. I change which direction I face when I wash my hair. Or sometimes I take everything out of my kitchen drawers and put them away in new places. These small changes seem to help when things are getting boring. However I will tell you, what helps the most, is continuing your love for exploration and discovery! Jump on any opportunity to live life differently.
I continue to travel, and any “After-Travel Blues” I might feel, are outshone by passion to find my next location.
Leave a comment below telling me about your own personal Travel-Blues.
If you would like Emilie
to give you some ideas on
how to bring small changes
to your every-day life
go to BLOG 137
If you would like Emilie
to give you some pointers on
how to travel for cheap
go to BLOG 171
Emilie, thanks for the honesty.
In a darker way, I suppose I experienced what you are describing three times – every time I came back from a military deployment in the Middle East. There is something about the irregularity of danger that brings out the adventurer, the globetrotter, the take-life-by-the-horns guy that lives inside. Then I went home and found it difficult to continue that kind of significance. If it’s any consolation, the feeling wears off and eventually the adventurer finds cliffhangers and thrills even in the backyard, if that’s what it comes to. Thanks again.
Hey Scott! Thanks for the reply. Wow.. I can imagine how difficult it would be to go from one extreme to the other like you have. The consolation is appreciated 🙂 It’s nice to hear it wears off. I’m currently working on turning the ordinary into extraordinary.